What to do if your friend owes you money

Money can make friendships tricky. When someone borrows money and doesn't pay it back quickly, it's normal to feel upset or worried. This article will help you handle this tough situation in ways that can save both your money and your friendship.

What to do if someone owes you money

Start by giving your friend a gentle reminder. People sometimes forget they borrowed money, especially if it was a small amount or happened a while ago.

Try sending a simple text like: "Hey, I wanted to check if you remember the £50 I lent you last month for the concert tickets? No rush, but I need to pay my phone bill soon."

If a reminder doesn't work, have a real conversation. Choose a private place to talk where you both feel comfortable. Make sure you talk in person rather than over text, where messages can sound harsher than you mean them to.

Keep a record of when you lent the money and how much. If it was a large amount, you might want to write a simple agreement that you both sign. This way you have something to refer to which can reduce awkwardness if amounts are forgotten.

Ways to discuss owed money with friends

When talking about borrowed money, use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. This stops your friend from feeling attacked.

For example, say: "I'm feeling a bit stressed about my budget this month, and I remember lending you £100. I was wondering when you might be able to pay it back?"

Instead of: "You still haven't paid me back the £100 you owe me. When are you going to pay up?"

Listen to your friend's side of the story. Maybe they're having money problems too. If that's the case, you could suggest a payment plan where they give you smaller amounts over time.

Someone owes me money

If you've tried talking with your friend and they still haven't paid you back, you have some choices to make.

Ask yourself how important this friendship is to you. Sometimes the lesson learned (don't lend money to this person again) is worth more than the money itself.

You could suggest they pay you back in other ways. Maybe they could help you move, cook you dinner, or give you a lift when you need one.

If the money is a large amount that you really need back, you might need to be more firm about getting repaid.

If someone owes you money can you go to the police?

The police usually don't get involved in personal loans between friends. They deal with crimes, and a friend forgetting to pay you back isn't usually a crime.

For large amounts of money, you could take your friend to small claims court. But this should be your very last option because it will likely end your friendship.

Courts are for serious situations involving large amounts of money, not for small loans between friends. Going to court also costs money and takes time.

How to prevent money problems with friends

The best way to handle money problems is to prevent them! Here are some tips:

• Only lend what you can afford to lose. If giving the money would cause you financial stress, it's better to say no.
• Be clear about your expectations. Say when you need the money back and why.
• For larger amounts, write things down. A simple note signed by both of you can prevent confusion later.
• Consider using a payment app – Apps like Splitwise or Settleup keep a record of any transactions you add to them.

Remember that friendships are more valuable than money. While it's important to stand up for yourself, think carefully about how much this money means compared to your friendship.

When to let it go

Sometimes, the best thing for your peace of mind is to let go of the debt. If the amount is small and the friendship is important, consider it a gift rather than a loan.

The stress and negative feelings from chasing the money might not be worth it. This doesn't mean you should let people take advantage of you, but learning which battles to fight can be useful.

If you decide to forgive the debt, do it completely. Don't bring it up in future arguments or hold it against your friend.

Remember: the next time this friend asks to borrow money, you can politely say no based on past experience.

Your financial well-being and peace of mind matter. Take care of both by handling money matters with friends wisely and respectfully.